something / so simple

it is the sound of,
lips open, closing, opening, closed,
of moving to the tempo of your breathy sighs of,
“Oh, (“No,)
“Please,” (“God,”)
as the avalanche draws near.
it is the moment of infinity,
of feeling godly (of feeling guilty),
and like a musician,
fingers dance over the body, eliciting sighs and
highs and dizzy heights and
“Hike up that skirt even higher” and
“Oh, god”s,
and for once you’re thinking less with your brain and
more with nothing at all and oh god,
stoke it faster
the fire grows hotter,
from a faint blush to strawberry-red,
from light brushing to debauchery reddened with
vermillion, crimson, blood-red thump/pump/thumping like
the hair of the she I once loved.
Perhaps passion burns a little too brightly?
Does not flame glower because it is a pariah?
It is only there when you need it and gone again if you don’t,
it exists to be used and you don’t look at her
if it becomes fire it has overstayed its welcome,
bringing the ire of crushing, frigid water, no,
a flame is always alone and you don’t look at her even as
hips rock against air and you feel empty before you bottom out
you feel empty because you’re empty and
you only feel like you’re close and
oh god, you’re not thinking about her
oh god, you’re thinking about her
oh god, you’re thinking
oh god, you
oh god,
oh god
oh

again
like always,
in the aftermath,
you come back to reality and you realize it’s not her, it’ll never be her, and you’re not even sure if it all matters because it’s something so simple
what you’re feeling is natural
you can’t help it, it’s biology
and
and yet…
you can’t help it
sometimes you think about her
sometimes something isn’t so simple