Slam poetry written in my senior year. The first piece I wrote, and delivered in front of a class of about ~25 students.
Weekends With My Family
Saturday morning and I lie in bed
completely still to the world around me.
Eyes unfocused to see a white ceiling
while voices surround me with noises.
I listlessly lie on off-white sheets and pillows.
Son retreats back into his covers,
skies turn back to gray colors,
fade back to black as time turns back again.
I lie in bed.
Sunday morning,
and rivulets of filth stream down abused skin
and still I lie still
face-down in stained sheets
midst my still form
are the sounds of lips:
opening, closing,
open, closed,
forcing lungs
to convert oxygen to carbon dioxide,
providing air to a body that doesn’t want to
breathe
in
my
grief,
I laid on those sodden sheets
with my ruined mind,
and as hours tick by I find
my parents are inclined to be unkind.
And when I pick myself up I feel
ashamed and dirty.
I’m ruined.
Shower cleans
dust, saliva, tears, and snot off me,
but it won’t wash or clean my mind…
just my body.
A kitchen knife runs across wet skin,
deprives me of the pain running through my mind.
I so desperately want to believe I’m alive,
but unless I bleed, nothing feels right.
Music in my headphones as
I listlessly lie on off-white sheets and pillows.
Eyes unfocused to see a white ceiling
while noises become voices in my head.
I know I’m dead and yet…
I’m not.
Fade back to black as time turns back again.
I lie in bed.
Monday morning,
the song repeats.